Showing posts with label aitch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aitch. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I'm Younger Than My Scooter Makes Me Look

I took The Little Boy to the cafe today and a man who is old enough to be my grandfather called me ma'am. A group of elderly gentlemen was enjoying their morning coffee and chat, and they were blocking much of the sidewalk.

No biggie. I smiled and was about to chirp a cheerful "excuse me," when one of them asked, 'are we in your way, ma'am?'

I can't remember what happened next. I hope I was still smiling and that I said "thank you," but all I was thinking when I rolled up to meet my dad and baby was "fucking scooter, making me look like an old lady! Ma'am. Ma'am!? It's bad enough when I get ma'am'd by a teenage busboy."

Grumble.

The funny thing is that, as long as my gray's are nice and dyed, I actually look much younger than my 39 years.

Monday, May 13, 2013

I'm Not Drunk...

I have MS.

That was my line for yeeaaaaars. Run into a wall, "I'm not drunk, I have MS." Stagger into a stranger, "I'm not drunk, I have MS." Fall and end up splayed on the sidewalk after leaving a bar where you've had a drink, one drink, with friends. Well this is awkward, "I'm not drunk, I have MS."

For the better part of a decade I've smiled sweetly and apologized profusely for making an ass out of myself, but I'm all done bending over backwards, sometimes literally, to prove I'm anything other than what I am - someone who has been hobbled by MS.

My myelin's been scarred, my muscles have been weakened and my waist has thickened. Not that I was ever Miss Athletic, but it's now official - I am disabled and I look it. I am a fairly young looking thirty-something, but I have the stamina and strength of a nonagenarian. I mostly get around with my scooter - I call it Jaro, which is also the name for my wheelchair. I have a cane and a walker too.

'Tis a far cry from the twenty-something me who traveled around Europe carrying more than half my body weight in a backpack or who traversed the hills of Berkeley with 50 pounds of books crammed into a book bag.

Yup, things are different, and I'm trying to get to the point where I can say, truthfully, that that's okay.